I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
