and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
