i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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