How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
