Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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