god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
