ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
