i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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