I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
