He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
