How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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