and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
