Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The air taste purple.
Randomize
