Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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