I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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