Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
