it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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