My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
