I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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