I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
