ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize