THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
