This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
