I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
