Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
