with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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