I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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