She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
