WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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