We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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