The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
