Kiss
Puke
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
