Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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