He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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