i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if only i could text you this smell
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
