Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
