another moral hangover. fuck.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
