Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
