hell yes lets make some ravioli
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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