Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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