he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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