ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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