they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sext me about skeletons
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
