I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
