she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As shirtless as possible
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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