I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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