Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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