I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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