I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
