We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
